Coming Clean

Today is THE DAY for me! I'm starting my road back to complete health. I'm making room in my fridge and my life for space! No more saving anything that I don't use " 'cause somebody may need it."
I'm starting the Specific Carbohydrate Diet lifestyle plan today. At first glance it may seem extreme or too restrictive, but I am actually rejoicing and feeling freed by its simplicity today. (Stay tuned, that may change by the end of the week ;-) )
In all honesty, I have been really sick. So sick I didn't fully realize how bad it was until I started feeling better. (In February I started seeing an integrative health practitioner and committed to a grain free diet, that was when i started to see a real change.)
This morning as I was cleaning out the fridge AGAIN, I thought now is the time, I need to share this story. I know I'm not the only one feeling this sick. I know that because, the progress I have made and the things I have learned already on my journey back to full health have been from others who have been brave enough to share their stories. I also know because, when no one else is looking, people talk. People who share many similar experiences and symptoms, but somehow have felt like that's just how their body reacts or maybe it's just the power of suggestion. Because, you know, gluten-free-whole foods are just the latest health food fad. We have laughed and cried and laughed until we've cried about all the crazy things we've done or thought about doing.
But what I do know for sure is, we have amazing power to heal when we provide the space for it to happen. So, for the next 90 days. I want you to watch for the stories from my healing journey here as I tackle "the whole enchilada" of life. Feel free to share and cheer me on (I know I'll be needin' plenty of that).
I promise there will still be plenty of the normal stuff on here too, like goats in cars, and trucks, and school busses.


A Stick-in the-Eye

I realized when I gave myself time this morning, time to think and be, that I've been holding myself in pain this week. Small pains, like the worry of overwhelm, the fear of judgement, and then the stick-in-my-eye physical pain. Literally, I jammed a stick in my eye while cleaning up the yard this weekend! With my eye on the mend this morning, the physical pain and discomfort subsiding (I don't recommend a stick in the eye, trust me it hurts!), I stopped to think about the choices we make in life and where we choose to dwell. This place of pain and fear, no matter how big or small, is a place of limits and stagnation. While thinking about where I was dwelling this morning in my small pains and in the bigger pains of our world, I began shifting my thoughts to love which is exactly what I needed but couldn't see for all the busy-ness of my brain.
Of all the places in the world to dwell, I choose love.
From love comes healing, and peace, and strength, and bravery.
I've seen people posting a Mr. Rogers quote about looking for the helpers in tragic, disturbing situations. That thought and mindful image are great reminders of the balance in life. Where there's hurt, there is help and where there's pain, there is love.
Just look for it, be open to it.
I love love; it's warm and fuzzy, light and tingly, it's melty and gushy, and safe. Love is peace.
In looking for love, remember to find it within first. When we can find space to extend love to ourselves, we are able to cultivate true peace and healing with an abundance to share. When we choose to extend love to ourselves, our families, our friends, our communities, our nations, and our world, we choose a better place to dwell.
May true peace and love be yours today, my friends.



This year at Riverbluff Farm, we had two of our does bred to kid. Pearl, our purebred Saanen (and daughter of the beloved Tasha and Wyatt) kidded first adding a another girl to the herd and a boy. The boy went to his new home over the weekend, (Yay!) and is now destined for the Gasconade County Fair. Ella can't wait to visit him there this summer. "The County Fair is her faaavorite fair," she says. 

Pearl and her 1 day old babies.

Birth of the baby boy. 
I was lucky to capture a little video this year. Pearl had escaped from the barn and wasn't with the rest of the herd when I found them. Knowing she was due to kid soon, I went looking for her. It was the day before our last big snow storm came through. We needed to find her and get her back to the barn or her babies would freeze. When I found her, she had already started the birthing process; I could see two tiny little hooves. After trying without success to coax her back to the barn I just settled in, watched, and waited. I was an hour late getting the store open that morning, but it was worth it. Witnessing a birth never gets less amazing, it is the most exciting and scary and moving process.

Beautiful Tasha and my favorite sweet boy Wyatt

One week following Pearl's babies, Gertie had two of the most adorable and sweet girl kids I've ever seen. Gertie is our sweet and social Nubian. She's the first to come to the fence to say hello, and don't even think about going in the barn without giving her an ear-scratch. This year her babies took on more nubian characteristics than last, so we got some color and long floppy ears. :) One is a pale peachy white and the other a lovely latte color. Latte became Lottie, but we may need some naming help again this year for Pearl's girl and Gertie's little peach.

Lottie, Gertie and peachy girl.